The Story Of You (A Salmon)

Think about how amazing it is that a salmon will travel from an enormous ocean and find the one river it was born in. Out of all of the other streams and rivers pouring into this huge ocean it searches for one specific channel and finds it.

For a long time you swim through the ocean. For a long time you search trying to follow this all-consuming instinct, going far beyond the place you began.

Then one day you happen to swim upon a small, bubbling cove. You notice a strange feeling in the current splashing down from above. Curious, you swim closer. For a moment you feel the water moving through the current is somehow different. It gives you a sense of inner stillness and after a pause you decide it must be followed. The current will take you beyond the familiar world you can relate to and following it means you will be moving against the flow.

Then, without thinking or expecting much, you push to follow it. It takes a great deal of effort. Every gain you make is threatened by the fear that if you stopped the current would suddenly push you right back to where you began.

Suddenly a giant shape crashes into the water from above. It is brown with swirling fur and long, sharp spikes that resemble teeth. You scream in shock and tighten up as the claw pulls you from the water! Then everything moves in slow motion and a feeling of incredible calm surges through your being. It urges you to relax, let go, and surrender. You listen to it as you, very gently, twist your body. Naturally, your body slips out of the claw. As you begin to fall you feel as if the world has stopped.

You look around and see the great, silvery stream shining in the sun. Except you are above it! You see it in a way you had never imagined before. It climbs far ahead of you with many other streams branching off and merging into one. Looking back you can also see it winding down into the great ocean where you came from.

Your mouth opens in awe as you realize it is all connected. The ocean where you began, the stream you have been swimming through and the very place you are seeking. This knowledge somehow empowers you and opens your mind as you begin to see a larger picture beyond just your lone search.

Your body hits the water and you drop into a swirling pool, back into the world.

There you see other fish and almost instinctively you know; they are like you, they know what you are seeking. Searching you find that many currents lead away from the pools but only one leads to the source. Knowing there are others who are seeking with you gives you a sense of comfort. Still, none seem to know the way and you consider that your search may be in vain. As before, it seems when you begin to accept defeat and surrender, your instincts rise to be heard.

You have a purpose that is calling to you. There are many obstacles on your journey and many dangers that await you. Against the greatest of odds, this purpose must be fulfilled.

Determined to fulfill it you search the pool until you find a current that has the strange water that seems to call to you. It is also moving through the strongest current crashing down from above. Thinking, you tell yourself it cannot be right, that you must find an easier path. Another part in you instinctually leaps out and you feel compelled to push up the fiercest stream.

Struck with amazement at how long you follow the stream you begin to question the sense in following such a thing. It seems illogical that you should work so hard to follow something that might not lead anywhere or serve any reasonable purpose.

Suddenly you push out of the strong current into a large quiet pool, the likes of which you have never seen before. Giant crystals, glistening and shining with brilliant colors protrude from the sides of the pool. Refracted light bounces and plays across everything. The entire pool radiates with a deep, cool current and an air of mystical beauty.

Wonder so fills your entire being that you have trouble breathing and cannot help but choke back tears of joy. Before, where your heart was troubled with doubt it now beats with renewed spirit and vigor. For a time you pause and much of you longs to remain in this place. It gives you hope and instills in you a sense of mystery about the world you have never felt. This experience, this discovery, fills you with encouragement to keep following your strange instinct despite the lack of any certainty that it will ever lead you to the place you seek. With a purposeful thrust, you continue on your way.

Your journey is long.

Many times, frustrated, uncertain and weary, you abandon your search. At these times you live quietly in the calm pools. Each time your memories of the crystal pool, and other amazing discoveries you found along your search, stirs you to continue on your journey. Your strange inner instinct leads you to new places, unique places, different from anything you have seen before. Each discovery pushes you onward with renewed vigor and intensity.

In time, you cease questioning where your instinct will take you.

You learn to trust it, even through the darkest of waters that are devoid of any light. Stranger still, you begin to sense that it is not taking you away into the unknown, but bringing you back to a place you have always known.

Whether by chance or some design of fate, when at last you cease questioning it, you push into a deep, dark pool whose bottom you cannot see. You can feel no current coming from any direction. Fear and shock begin to overwhelm you as you consider that it is a dead-end. You have failed. It is time to give up.

You are weary and while you fear defeat and ultimately your death, you accept it.

It is then the familiar feeling deep inside of you stirs slightly. Having learned through your long journey to trust this feeling, you take a deep breath and release your fears. Then, you quiet your thoughts and listen intently, trying to become aware of everything around and within you. It is then this feeling inside of you grows stronger and you have a sudden urge to look up.

All of this time you have been slowly sinking and you are floating near the bottom. You see shining flashes of silver, other salmon, strange and ethereal in appearance are there with you. Shining golden globes line the floor and you are filled with a feeling of great peace and joy.

You have reached the source. It is here that a part of you will die yet another part of you will be reborn.

Edited excerpt from “The Handbook of the Navigator” By Eric Pepin

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